Adoption can seem beautiful, especially in online videos or stories about people being matched in the adoption process. However, it's important to recognize that adoption stems from loss. There's a misconception that infants adopted at birth don’t experience loss because they don’t remember their biological family. But growing research in psychology, attachment, and child development shows that separation at any age can cause trauma. Adoption is a vital part of society, but it's crucial to be aware of the grief that affects at least one party in the adoption triad: biological parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees.

When meeting an adoptive family, it's important to approach with sensitivity and avoid making assumptions. A simple, respectful inquiry like, “Tell me about your family,” allows the family to share what they feel is appropriate. This respects their privacy and the children's stories.

There are many paths to adoption. I encourage those interested in adoption to consider being matched with a child in foster care whose parents' rights have already been terminated or relinquished. These children need permanent homes, and the outcomes for those who age out of the foster system are often dire. If you have the capacity in your heart and home, you could be the support a child needs to thrive into adulthood and beyond.

I am thankful to be part of the FIT4MOM community that embraces my family and motherhood journey. I want all moms to know that even if their experience of motherhood looks and feels different, they are not alone. There is always a place for you at FIT4MOM.