I’m on a mission to help women find themselves after life changing events. Recently, I started coaching after 11 years in the counseling field. One of the differences between counseling and coaching is that now I help women focus on what’s next in their lives rather than what’s already happened.
Feeling stuck and confused, especially after life changing events occur, leads to feelings of helplessness and frustration. Finding your mental ground is vital. Your life is different, and different responses are needed which can be difficult to pinpoint.
It’s very challenging since change feels incredibly uncomfortable. Doing what we did before, doing what’s familiar, feels right and comforting especially when our lives change significantly.
Sometimes we’re stubborn and don’t want to work hard at something new, or overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin.
Your mind is scrambling looking for answers, “What happens now? When will I feel ‘normal’ again? What is my new normal and how do I get there? How do I make life what it once was? How do I readjust? How do I feel like me again?”
The outstanding theme I hear from moms is the struggle to get their mental ground back! What you’ve known before, no longer exists as it once did. With this, begin looking at your life differently today. And, find something from the “old” normal to keep and make as part of your new routine.
First, slow down and just take one day at a time, getting comfortable living in the present. Being mindful of where you are today, this minute, helps to clarify how you are really feeling and what you are needing and wanting.
As women, we are notoriously hard on ourselves. Making comparisons to the mythic Super Mom, or Super Woman, creates feelings of stress and insecurity. Acknowledging this allows you to begin settling in to your new role or new normal.
Readjust and find what works best for you now. Be open and welcoming to this adventure, a new chapter. Know that you will find your new place. Every experience finds us changed and our journey is to find our new normal. Embrace the change and make it work for you. Life gets tripped up when we go back to what used to work, instead of what works now.
Tools to ease the search for your “new” mental ground:
1. Make quiet time for you
2. Think positive
3. Be in the moment
4. Make lists
6. Wine (or whine)
8. Talk it out
9. Make the realization that everything changes
10. Have a good laugh and a good cry
11. Try new things (volunteer, go back to work)
12. Have patience with yourself
13. Spend time with girlfriends
14. Do something relaxing
15. Join a meet-up group
17. Wear ear plugs
18. Get a babysitter
19. Go on a date
20. Take a nap
21. Hug it out
22. Practice yoga and meditate
24. Accept help from others
25. Make a list of things you enjoy doing...and do them
Cherish the change! Find your way by relishing in who you are today. Enjoy this new chapter in your life and remember that you have the power to make changes and choices that make you happy, even if it’s a different path than you were on before. Many paths lead to happiness...Now, Get To It!
Jessica Bacher is a Certified Professional Life Coach and Counselor. Her passion is working with women to build structure, organization and stability in their lives. She has been coaching, educating and counseling for over 11 years and owns Get To It Coaching. Visit her website for weekly tools and tips!