We so often talk about being a model mom at FIT4MOM; modeling healthy and happy behaviors. However, it occurred to me that we may also need to model being an imperfect mom. In today's day and age, perfectionism is an ever increasing paradigm. With the illusions of perfection on TV and in social media, there is more pressure than ever to look, act and live a certain way.
For a good part of parenthood, we are their heroes. Our children look up to us and think we are all knowing (yes, that disappears soon enough). So I ask, are we perpetuating the illusion of perfection if we are not vulnerable in front of them? Does it serve them to think that mom is always perfect? I think not.
Now don't get me wrong. I don't think self deprecation is the answer. That doesn't serve anyone. But taking off the mask of perfection might be helpful. It's ok to be vulnerable in front of your children. As your babies become children, they will have fears of not fitting in, not belonging, not being good enough. Show them how you handle your own insecurities. Tell them stories if you were last picked in sports but also tell them that you are nervous about a big presentation or that your feelings were hurt by a friend. They learn from our triumphs and they will learn from how we handle challenges in life. Our homes need to be the place that YOU and THEY feel safe to be who they are. Home is where everyone can let their guard down. Home is where everyone belongs and everyone is loved no matter what.
Let your children know that the goal is not to be perfect. No one is perfect. If they think that's the goal, then it will surely lead to a downward spiral of negative thinking and self loathing. We all care so darned much about what others think and about our appearances to others. Let your kids see that your goal is not perfectionism. Let them see that you are loved even if you don't have a perfect body. You are accepted even if you are shy. You don't fall apart just because the house is a mess. You feel good about yourself even if you make mistakes. Show them how you strive for growth and learn from mistakes.
So, while we inspire you to be a healthy role model for your family, realize we also want you to be an imperfect one.