Welcome to episode 2 of the Motivating Mom podcast. I’m your host Lisa Druxman and I’m here to help give you the strength for motherhood. Now realize that I’m not preaching from some zen mountaintop with things all figured out. I am in the trenches of motherhood with you trying to figure it all out and not pull my hair out. I hope you join me in the pursuit for health and happiness in motherhood. If you missed our first episode, go back and listen and you’ll know a little more about me and why I created the Motivating Mom podcast.
In this episode we are talking about time. It’s the thing we all want more of.
“Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back.”
It seems like time is the answer to everything but we can’t figure out how to make more of it. And that is what we are going to tackle today.
First, I would like to thank sponsors who support FIT4MOM and this podcast. Thanks to LUNA bar. They are my go to protein bar when I need something quick and sweet. And I know that they provide me with organic ingredients and no preservatives or artificial ingredients. My personal new favorite flavor is their Luna Protein with chocolate peanut butter. But I’ll savor that for later!
What would you do with more time? Meditate? Exercise? Get a massage? Probably not. In some ways, we have been given more time. Technology has sped up our lives so that things take far less time, which should in theory give us more time. Has that happened? Nope. We just fill it up with more of the same old stuff. Never before in the history of man (or woman) have we been so busy, so filled. We have information overload from the moment we wake till we sleep. And we regularly say that we want more time. What we wouldn't give for more hours of the day.
Unfortunately, we cannot buy it. Our time is finite. And it passes quickly. One of my favorite mommy quotes is that the days are so long but the years go by so fast. As a mom of a 13 and 9 year old I am here to say that it’s very true. And yet we still have this constant desire for more time.
Time is actually the answer to almost all of our challenges. The state of our marriages, parenting, work and self would all be better if we had more time to devote. When I spend more time with my kids, they are happier. When I work more, I get further along in my career. But there isn’t time for everything. So we end up feeling not good at much and in a constant state of overwhelm.
The good news is that there is some element of choice about that life of chaos. We need to start being far more purposeful about how we use those precious hours. In our first episode, we talked about your MIT’s (your most important things). If you regularly schedule time in each of those areas, you will start to feel progress and fulfillment. But that just added on to your day, so how do we make more time?
First, what can we take out?
Start saying no to more. You don’t have to say yes to everything and everyone. It might even sound fun but it’s not fun when you feel overwhelmed and overcommitted. If you say yes to something, realize you are saying no to something else because every hour of your day is probably already spoken for.
What during your day isn’t serving you? Perhaps too much time on facebook or reality tv? I’m not saying you need to cut it out all together but there may be some minutes you can shave for something more fulfilling.
There were some years when my kids were younger that I really was running on empty. I scheduled out every minute of every day with parenthood and work. I barely left myself time to pee. I didn't need anything grand like a massage (although it would have been nice). I needed a pause in my day. I needed a moment to not have my mind go a mile a minute. And that needed to be scheduled. So what does that look like now? Before I answer that, realize it looks different depending on your season in motherhood. My kids are getting older and that definitely makes things easier in terms of finding time for yourself. So, now I journal for a few minutes each morning and meditate. In the later afternoon which is my “witching hour” of exhaustion, I take 10. Call it a mommy time out if you wish. I literally put the timer on my iphone and I rest. Maybe I read, maybe I lay down or just sit down. My kids know that it’s quiet time for me. Now realize I still have a ton to do. It’s not like I got it all done and am now rewarding myself for that hard work. But instead it’s like I’m recharging myself much like we recharge our phones each night. And I think I’m modeling something healthy for my kids. They get to see that there is a purpose to quiet and stillness. I have been doing the Take 10 since my kids were pretty little. It just didn’t always workout the same. Maybe I did it when they were napping or momentarily busy with their toys. My point is that the quiet has a huge value. You’ve got to trust me on this. It’s the most resisted thing I share with moms because it seems ludicrous to them to do nothing when they have so much to do. I’m here to tell you that you will get more done and get it done feeling better if you give this a try. One more thing, flipping through facebook on your phone is not a Take 10. In terms of my schedule, I schedule far less appointments in a day. I leave myself time at the beginning and end of the day to collect my thoughts and get organized. I leave myself time to pee. This means that when you schedule an appointment with me, it might be weeks out, but at least my time is being used purposefully and I am a lot more sane. This is a practice. It is never done and it is not a quick fix. I work daily to work on being mindful. I have to work to turn off the distractions like texting and social media and truly be in the moment that I have chosen. I get it right like half the time. But I am getting there and it definitely feels better when I live this way.
So I guess my take away on time is that we all have the same 24 hours a day. The same 168 hours per week. They will tick by either way so why don’t you give it a try to spend those hours on what’s most important to you.