Hello beautiful mamas. This is Lisa Druxman, your host of the Motivating Mom podcast. And it is my hope to give you the inspiration, motivation and support you need in motherhood.
My girlfriend Ash and I have had many conversations about polar opposition for the very popular book Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg.
“Leaning In” has become one of the most common catch phrases for women in business. She wants women to be more assertive. She wants us to have more confidence. She wants us to obtain more authority. In fact, Sandberg, perhaps unknowingly, has set an expectation in today’s society that women should strive to compete in a man’s world. I think that isn’t just alarming, but
Yes, women should ask for what they want. Yes, women should have the same opportunities as men. But do we all need to be Sheryl Sandberg to be considered successful? I do not judge her rise to the top, but every woman, and every person for that matter, needs to do what feels right for them. We should not posture the goal that all women should strive to thrive in corporate America.
As a woman, is it my job, my calling to set an example for women worldwide to fight for equality in the workplace? No. I want to be home for my kids when they are sick and to pick them up after school without guilt. It’s not that I don’t want to work; I love to work. But our children deserve to have a parent raising them, and women should be allowed to take pride in the fact that they want to be that parent. I created my company so I could be a mom first and foremost, and our franchise business model was created so they too could have careers that are supportive of parenthood. In this day and age, women should feel the freedom to “Lean Out” – a
balance of work, life and family – without judgment. That is worth fighting for.
So how do you Lean Out? I have come up with 5 tips to help you do just that.
1. Redefine “Success”
The traditional definition of success isn’t working for many in today’s society, including men. I think most traditionally successful people are fried. It’s time for a new definition.
Find a business that you can do from home, from the computer or allows flexible schedules. If you can’t find one, create one. Create a life that doesn’t separate work from home life, but instead finds a way to blend the two. We now know that work doesn’t have to happen in an office. It doesn’t have to happen during certain hours.
2. Prioritize Your Wants
There is so much pressure on women. There is an internal battle between the grass is always greener and judging how other moms do it. Some stay at home moms are high and mighty about the sacrifices they make for their kids and how they never miss a field trip or volunteering in class. Many working moms pull their hair out trying to climb the proverbial corporate ladder and then work second shift as mom at home. There is no right way to do this. What do you want to do? How do you want to spend the time in your life? Sandberg wants women to have more confidence. I agree. Confidence is important.
So have confidence in the choice you make for your life. Work. Don’t work. Blend. Do what you need for this is your life.
3. Be Purposeful
We all have 168 hours in the week, all of us. Some choose to spend those hours in the office. I structure each day to find a balance of work, family and some “me” time. You have to be purposeful with your time or it will be eaten by the wants of everyone else.
Men and women today are over-stressed and over-worked in our career driven society and most of us don’t have the luxury of help at home. A big company executive can afford to hire nanny after nanny, but what about all of the women who can’t afford that much support? Will Leaning In and spending those hours at work instead of at home be a help to their family? Protect your time like it’s your most valuable asset. it is. you never get it back.
4. Learn to Dance
I don’t mean hip hop or disco. Goodness, I can’t even do that. I’m talking about the dance of balance.
I don’t usually suggest focusing on balance as it is a bit of an illusion. Instead, I focus on counter balance. It’s a dance of leaning in and leaning out, so to speak. Ideally, we can do that dance with a partner or spouse if we have one. There will be times where we focus more on work and then hopefully our spouse can Lean Out and be there more for the family. And then we trade.
5. Know When to Lean In
Is there a place for women to Lean In? Absolutely. Lean In and ask for the raise. Lean In and go for the promotion if you want it. How about this? Lean In to being there for your kids. Lean In and be a healthy role model for them. Lean In to parenthood.
Parenthood is the most important job in the world and you shouldn’t be ashamed to
Lean In to it.
I hope you enjoyed today’s episode of Motivating Mom. Short and sweet. Your time is valuable so I am not going to drag a show out if I can say it quickly. Sorry if I got on a pedestal a bit. But I feel such a strong need to protect a mom who wants to be home with her kids. I still today think it’s the most important job that we have. Stop comparing yourself to others. You are you. Nobody else could be you even if they tried. I want you to do what is right for you. for your family, for your life
Now go be bold, be brave and be you!