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Episode 045 - I Don’t Do it All

Welcome to the Motivating Mom podcast. I’m your host, Lisa Druxman. I am the founder of FIT4MOM, the country’s largest fitness program for moms and am dedicated to getting moms out of overwhelm and into a life of health, passion, purpose and happiness. Well, this is an exciting episode. It is the one year anniversary of the motivating mom podcast. It has been quite an experience. I started off with the amazing A to Z podcasting course by Cliff Ravenscraft. if you have ever considered starting a podcast, this is the way to go. I am so thankful for Clif and what he taught me. I will put a link in the show notes to Cliffs podcast and course.

The podcast experience has been interesting because it made me realize how long it had been since I learned something new. It was challenging and frustrating and rewarding all at the same time. In the end, I realized that I love podcasting but that it didn’t make the most sense for me to be editing the shows. So, I hired an awesome editor, John Bukenas. That gave me the ability to focus on the content. And that kind of led me to an idea for today’s show. What I don’t do. I get moms all the time asking me how I do it all. well truth be told, I don’t. I’m always sharing that you need to focus on getting done what’s most important. But if I focus on what’s most important, it means I am not doing other things. So today, I will share what doesn’t make the cut. And in past episodes we have talked about focusing on the most important things. But I never really shared what I don’t do.

But first, I want to invite you to go to fit4mom.com and check out our all new retail shop? We have the cutest FIT4MOM items from water bottles, to hats and shirts. Go to shop.fit4mom.com and check it out. And I want to congratulate Amy Lewis for sharing the podcast. Amy will get a free month of Stroller Strides or Body Back classes. Just send me an email Amy and we will get you set up!

Ok, so let’s start this show. Let’s start with my confessions. I am not a super woman nor a super mom. I am a regular mom who is very purposeful (and very passionate) about how I use my time. I am clear on the most important things in my life. Listen to episode 1 if you haven’t to find out about those most important things (MIT’s) in your life.

Now, even when you are clear on what’s important to you, you will sometimes miss the mark. There are 52 weeks in a year and I started this podcast 1 year ago. So I should be on episode 52. Nope, this is 45. Because sometimes life gets in the way and you need to go with the flow. it’s like taking a road trip. sometimes, you might take a side route but eventually you should still get to where you want to go if you follow the right map.

so, there are 52 weeks in a year

365 days

24 hours in a day

so, the question is how are you going to spend them?

At the beginning of every day, I sit down and write the three most important things I need to get done for that day. I will of course get done more than three but those are the road map to where I want to go.

So, what don’t I get done?

Well I spend lots of time taking care of how I feel on the inside. I eat healthy, exercise and meditate. But I don’t spend a whole lot of time on the outside. It is not unusual to see me with a messy bun and no make up. I rarely get my nails done and don’t get my hair colored as much as my hairdresser thinks i should.

Now, I think I’m going to do a lot of shoulding on myself in this episode which I don’t normally recommend. It does you no good to should on yourself. If you want to do something, then do it. If you don’t, then let it go. As I share my list, notice your own shoulding. Chances are, you will at some point, go “oh she should do that” or “I should too”.

So yeah, I don’t spend a ton of time on the outside package. I let my hair air dry in the car on the way to work and I rarely go shopping for clothes. Don’t get me wrong. I love having stylish new clothes. But I rarely find it important enough to take the time to go shopping.

What else don’t I do?

There are a number of things I don’t do that I really wish I did. I am terrible about writing thank you notes. My mom taught me right but I’m just not great at actually making them happen. Similarly, I’m not great at buying birthday cards. I over think what would be a creative and thoughtful gift so much that I end up buying something generic at the very last minute.

I don’t do projects on Pinterest or anything artsy craftsy. I love that stuff but don’t have the time for it. Once in awhile my artsy girlfriend Jen brings me in her craft dungeon to create something magical. I always love doing it but definitely don’t if she doesn’t make it happen.

I am terrible about running errands. So buying cards, returning things, getting the car washed...well it is never at the top of my list. Luckily I have a husband who is very good at errands. And even luckier is this internet world we live in where I can do almost everything from my computer. Running errands sucks up a ton of time. If you are going to do them, make sure to batch them at once. Keep a to do list that has your “outside” errands so you can get them done in one full swoop.

What else don’t I do?

I outsource a lot. I am now at a point in my career that I can afford to outsource a housekeeper to come to my house once a week. I use Amazon Fresh to deliver my groceries. I use Amazon Prime to deliver everything from dog food to my makeup. I’m even trying a clothing delivery called Le Tote since I hate going shopping. I even have a full time virtual assistant in the Phillipines do help me with a lot of my social media. Every time I outsource, it gives me the time to focus on what’s most important. It helps someone else thrive at the business they are in. If I had to do it over again, I would have outsourced things much sooner.

I have my kids to a lot. And I think they could do a lot more. No, I don’t use my kids like little servants. I think much of my job as a parent is to teach them to be self sufficient; that means they need to be able to do things for themselves. And I think that the definition of mom doesn’t mean that we do everything. So, we are a team. My kids to laundry, dishes, set table, take out trash, pick up dog poop, make their own lunches and more. Of course it depends on the age of your kids. but there are things that even toddlers can do. The other thing you need not to do is expect it all to be perfect. Because it won’t be.

What else don’t I do?

I am very purposeful about this next one. I take as few in person meetings as I can. Don’t get me wrong, I have in person meetings every day. But I don’t give them to everyone who wants them. In person meetings take way too much time. When someone approaches me, I will first respond via email if that can work. Then I will set up a brief call or skype call. If I said yes to every in person meeting that came my way, I would never get antyhing else done.

What else don’t I do?

I am never the room mom and am rarely the team mom. I am a work sharer. I volunteer but offer to share positions with other moms. I have been an art docent for years where I just go once per month. I also don’t drive my kids everywhere. With two kids in sports, that takes up a ton of time. I set up carpools so that I just have to drive once or twice per week.

I don’t do a lot with my girlfriends, which kind of makes me sad. But I feel like my time with my kids is so precious that I am very careful about not giving it up. I have a standing girls night once a month that gives me a fix of estrogen and my village for the month.

Now this next thing is something that I wish I did even less off. Anyone guess? It’s facebook. If you are on of the less than 1% of moms who are not on Facebook, then stay off. Be strong. Facebook is fun and connecting and I love it for my business. But it is so bad for my time. I go in there with a purpose and find myself watching video’s and liking cute pictures. I am working on being very purposeful with my facebook time. I am now putting on a timer, getting in and getting out.

And finally, as a business owner, I not only don’t do but I can’t do a lot. I have far more ideas and wishes for my business than I have the time and money to do them all. There are many great ideas that I have to say no to, or not right now. It makes me feel better if I can at least keep those ideas safe on a list and can keep checking in on them the next time I’m strategizing for how I’m going to use my year.

If you have trouble focusing on your most important things, I would highly suggest you listen to Episode 9 - the Impact of Yes and no on your happiness.

I’m not super woman, nor are you. Give up what makes sense for your life, for your stage of life. What I know is that trying to do it all is why so many moms feel overwhelmed, overstressed and just over it. It doesn’t have to be that way. It’s you who says yes and you who can say no. Get clear on what is most important, what is essential in your life for happiness and then protect it.

The one who does the most does not win. The one who does the most important things will.

Today, I leave you with this quote about how to look at the time you have.

Thanks for joining me.

And as always, I thank you for sharing this podcast. Our goal is to reach 1 million moms and I need your help! If you liked the show, thank me by rating it on itunes! Catch ya next time!

Links For Today’s Show

Cliff Ravens Craft

John Bukenas

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