First, my apologies as I think this blog is all over the place. Probably not written well but written with a bit of fire in my heart....
Have you ever read the children's book Have You Filled A Bucket Today? It's one of our favorites here at FIT4MOM. The concept is that we all have a metaphorical bucket which can hold kindness, appreciation and love. And we have the opportunity each day to fill someone's bucket or dip from it with criticism, judgment or negativity. This is what we teach our kids, but maybe us moms need reminding too.
I have a habit of always giving people the benefit of the doubt and looking at the other side. I think this drives my family and friends crazy because it means that I rarely take your side but always try to point out the possible side of the person you are annoyed with. I have never met a person who was truly bad or truly mean. Never. I think it's safe to say that most people have good hearts. There are two sides to every situation and you might feel different in their shoes.
That being said. People will still dip from your bucket from time to time. And even if you get tons of positives in your life, we tend to focus on the one negative situation. It's called Critics Math.
I experienced Critics Math last week. Critics Math comes from Jon Acuff's book Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average and Do Work that Matters. Basically, it goes like this...99 positive comments + 1 negative comment = 1 negative comment. I read all of our FIT4MOM social media comments and we usually get such great support and positivity, but I had 1 or 2 comments that really dipped from my bucket. These moms misinterpreted a meme that I had posted and automatically went to hate and "unfriending" me. Really? I was so hurt. We need to give people the benefit of the doubt. Ask questions. Assume the best in people.
Most moms you know mean well. And most moms you know will be victims of Critics Math. All of the praise in the world can't be heard over that one criticism about their parenting, cooking or house keeping skills.
This world can be a hard place. Motherhood can be tough stuff. So I ask all of you to be very careful before you dip someone's bucket as it may outweigh all of the bucket fillers in their life. Be careful of what you say on social media because it stings just as much as in person. Ask questions and look at something with a new perspective.
And finally, if you experience that one negative comment, realize that we are all going to have critics and that they do not define us nor do they take anything away from you.